No. #8: Due Date Dilemma

Dear Pards,

6’1”, 170 lbs. 4.2 index that travels. Corporate Accountant.

For the past five years, I’ve been part of a fall golf trip in the North Carolina mountains. As I’m sure you know, not all golf trips are created equal. Unlike a booze-filled bachelor party, this trip tends to actually recharge the batteries. Not only do we play some high-class golf, the chemistry between the guys gets better every year, and it’s something I always have circled on the calendar.

Our host just sent out the dates for this September, and it happens to fall on the exact weekend my wife is due with our third child. I proposed a few options to her: 1) starting a castor oil regimen two weeks before her due date, 2) implementing the Phil “pager” and delivering at Wake Forest Baptist Hospital, a short drive from our trip, and 3) subbing my brother in for moral support.

As you can imagine, none of those went over too well. Safe to say I’ll be in the guest room for the foreseeable future. My last-ditch effort is to work on a PowerPoint presentation for her, but as much as it pains me to say it, I think I’m out on the trip this year. It will be a great consolation prize, but I’m still a bit bummed. Are there any angles I’m missing, or at least a way to save face here?

-Rock & a Hard Place in Raleigh

Dear Rock & a Hard Place,

I’ve been fortunate enough to be part of an annual trip that sounds a lot like yours, so I very much empathize with your situation.

That said, I think a tad bit of accountability on your end is in order.

As someone I’d imagine is quite organized, given your profession, I’d advise you to start monitoring your wife’s ovulation calendar a bit more closely, especially early in the year. Conception simply can’t happen at the start of Q1 if you want a green light for a fall trip in September.

I should acknowledge that for many couples, timing is not always so straightforward. With this being your third, I’ll assume that is not the issue here. If you are Catholic, I also understand the added degree of difficulty that comes with the absence of contraception.

At this stage, the golf trip is off the table.

I do, however, think a proper PowerPoint presentation is in order. Just not for your wife. This one should go to the host, laying out the case for why your spot should still be there for coming trips instead of whoever they pull from the alt list this year. One year removed is all it takes for a Bledsoe-Brady situation to unfold for the next decade.

Don’t beat yourself up too much. The number one player in the world still can’t figure out how to time the birth of his children so they don’t coincide with the biggest tournament of the year in April.

Prayers for a healthy, early baby.

P╞r╠℮

P.S. In honor of his victory in South Africa, this week’s Postage Stamp is Bryson being Bryson at Augusta, by Dave Baysden. If you’d like the print, you can grab it here.