No. 11: Masters Wardrobe Winners & Losers
Dear Pards,
5'10", 220 lbs. 6.8 assistant pro. “Scratch” for PGA’s sake.
With Rory slipping on his second green jacket, I couldn’t help but think how absurd it is that the winner of the most anticipated event in golf gets crowned in a green sport coat. Which got me thinking about the outfits from the rest of the week.
The resurgence of threads beyond moisture-wicking fabrics has me in my feels, nostalgic for the yesteryears of my junior golf days, when my cotton pants at the Georgia Junior looked more like a bag of fries from Five Guys.
Curious about your thoughts on the outcome in Augusta, but more importantly, the best and worst fits of the week.
-Starched in Savannah
Dear Starched,
My daughter was born just over a year ago, making Rory’s maiden Masters victory in 2025 my first as a father. It would seem a bit of a fallacy for her to call Rory the greatest, but at this point, that’s all she knows.
And though my 1-year-old knows nothing of a world without McIlroy in green, his latest crowning was digested in a very different fashion than the first. We stayed horizontal on the couch for the bulk of the second nine this past Sunday, juxtaposed to jumping around with the Ergobaby for a five-hour roller coaster ride in early April a year ago.
The final round on Sunday was far from a snooze fest. It just looked a little different than it did when Rory ended his major drought and completed the slam last year. As it should have.
My “Big 3” media outlets have covered the bulk of the golf this past week, along with the larger Rory conversation. If you haven’t been overserved by now, go drink up everything No Laying Up, Fried Egg Golf, and Normal Sport have had on tap since the final putt dropped Sunday.
Now onto the clear wardrobe winners and losers from last week’s 90th edition of the Masters.
Winners
Brooks: While Nike typically takes a vanilla approach to scripting, a svelte Brooks made the most of his jacquard mock necks paired with pleats this week. The only bogey I saw was a good bit of hair creeping up the back of the neck. But I’ll put most of that on Jena for not hitting the blind spots with the trimmers. More to come on Nike.
J Day: There was plenty of early-week bird buzz around Malbon’s scripting. Sure, some of it’s been iffy in the past, but I tend to be in on all of it. Especially the yellow-breasted chat scattered across Day’s chest this year. Seeing him slip on a green jacket over a brown bait vest would’ve broken the internet.
Tommy: There’s been rightful backlash over Fleetwood’s latest Blackstone hat deal. As there should be. That said, it’s easy to look past the lid when he’s got those loose-fit Lululemon threads paired with a full-knit polo. I’m also all in on him continuing to fill the gaps with a good old-fashioned pro shop raid.
Peter Millar: At this point, it feels like this Carolina-based brand is the Augusta standard. And while I’ll admit we’ve worn out the stretch quarter-zip, it’s hard to hate on anything Millar puts out. Their fits feel like a BMW X5. Clean, high-quality, and not trying to do too much. Sign me up for the long-sleeve sweater polo on Sam Burns Thursday.
B. Draddy: If Millar is the beemer of golf brands, B. Draddy is the Land Cruiser. Nothing flashy, just constant collectibles that stand the test of time. Hard to see any of their pieces and not want them in my own closet. While their ambassador, Brian Harman, got about as much screen time as Rory’s second into 18, the Fried Egg crew’s fits were all heat this week.
Losers
Bob McIntyre: It’s hard to lead this conversation with anyone other than big-shot Bob. His Thursday shirt looked like a tablecloth from the kids’ table when my grandma hosts Easter. That said, his obscene gestures would’ve landed him far from the adolescents this week. At this point, I’m all in on whatever joke the intern at Nike is playing with his scripting.
Adidas: Though I typically get down with most things the German brand puts out, they had a shirt in rotation this week that looked like the default Windows 10 desktop wallpaper. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Bridgeman completed the look with a pair of his patented “blow-bys” during his Masters debut Thursday. Glad Ludvig took the high road and passed on that one.
Rahm / Hatton: It feels fitting that two guys playing most of their golf on a trivial tour are also the ones sporting TopGolf across their hats. The pink Legion XIII accent isn’t doing them any favors either.
Other Mild Musings
Harry Hall’s hat looked like a pastry I want no part of.
Putting large clipart penguins on a golf shirt will never be a good idea.
On Friday, Max Greyserman looked like the guy who only drinks transfusions and matches his member-guest partner in pastel floral fits every single year.
I missed Patrick Reed. Did I want Greasy P wearing anything other than all black with a fitted VistaJet lid? No. I just wish CBS had shown me Lady J in riding breeches instead of 14-year-olds slugging Guinness on a webcam in Northern Ireland.
I was all in on the career arc of McIlroy, from his early rise, through the decade-long major drought, to the crescendo of completing the grand slam at Augusta last year. But since then, I’ve found myself indifferent to Rory. Similar to my indifference towards the simple white-Nike-dad hat he seems to wear every time he tees it up.
That said, would that apathy change if he showed up to Shinnecock wearing a white, high-crowned, double-Nike Seve visor? It absolutely would.
Pleats all summer,
P╞r╠℮P.S. This week’s Postage Stamp is Palmetto Golf Club in Aiken, SC, not far from Augusta, by Dave Baysden. If you’d like a copy, you can grab it here.
