No. 27: Length Matters
Dear Pards,
I'll start by saying I play a ton of golf and have never even sniffed a hole-in-one. At least not on a full-length course. Which leads me to this new short course craze we’re seeing in golf right now. I keep seeing these places popping up on my feed, and I’m lucky here in NC to have a few in my backyard: The Cradle, Old Field, and the Matchbox, to name a few.
My algorithm was jumpin' this weekend with a guy making THREE hole-in-ones at Tobacco Road's new synthetic short course. So help me make sense of the madness: What actually constitutes an ace? Does length matter? Does grass type? Does it count if nobody saw it? Where, if anywhere, do we put our foot down?
-Still Chasin’ in Sanford
Dear Still Chasin’,
I will begin by saying that this is a tertiary topic that in no way affects one's salvation. That said, without some sort of line in the sand, we risk the slippery slope of losing any sense of authority, and no one wants to end up as an Episcopalian.
By the letter of the law, this is a hole-in-one. There is no other number you could write on a scorecard to define it. The same way dodging the windmill in Myrtle Beach playing mini golf with an orange ball is too. Whether or not it "counts" on this coveted fantasy golf resume, though, comes down to individual conviction.
Please don’t think I’m peeing in the artificial punchbowl, but I'm putting an asterisk next to anything on a short course, while saving shots under ninety yards, ones on fake turf, and ones on a simulator for folklore only.
Don’t get me wrong, short courses are sweet, and I’m all for the emergence of them. But that doesn't mean we need to put the lemonade stand on our LinkedIn pages.
If you have to ask, I think you know the answer.
P╞r╠℮P.S. The stamp at the top of the newsletter is a short par 3 on the Monterey Peninsula, by Dave Baysden. If you’d like to purchase a full print, you can do so here.
My buddy Fluff–a caddie, though not the dart-ripping one you’re thinking of–sent me this picture of him wearing our visor on a lap around Bandon last week. Surreal to see a silly logo of a mustached man in a visor, on a visor, set against the infamous ghost tree in Oregon.
I have gotten a few messages on how to purchase one of those said lids. There are a limited number of them in a box in my office, and they’ll be for sale as soon as I can find time to take pictures, design some boxes, and set up an online store. That said, if you subscribe to our monthly mail club as an annual member within the next week, I’ll send you one for free.
The fifth edition of said snail mail club will go out in the next week and should hit subscribers' mailboxes sometime mid-month. For those of you who are new, think of it as a wedding invite crossed with a Christmas card, delivering a timeless dose of dopamine to your doorstep every month. Inside is a letter to golf from me or another golf writer, paired with art from a featured artist on framable 118lb cotton stock, along with a custom postcard on 110lb linen stock (that I even put a stamp on for you), and a personalized note from me to you. All bundled up in a swanky cotton envelope doused with real ink from a Pilot G2 and a real stamp ranging from Betty Ford to Arnold Palmer. This season has featured the incredible work of Dave Baysden and, honestly, is worth the price of admission alone.
If you’re skeptical or curious about how a random person writing under a pen name “Pards” pulls all this off with any sense of decency, just use code PARDS, and I’ll send you the first month free.
Thanks for being here.
