Dear Pards,
These Zyn pouches are a problem. I can’t even take a piss anymore without my stream hitting 30 milligrams of nicotine in a clubhouse urinal. Not to mention they're littered on tee boxes, greens, and every other place on property.
For the record, I don’t care if you like a little upper decky while you're on the golf course, or anywhere for that matter. The following is far from me pledging my allegiance to D.A.R.E. You do you. All that said, we have to address the fact that they're all over the golf course. Do these heathens not realize that these little white baggies aren’t biodegradable? I’m sick of seeing them everywhere.
Something’s gotta give. Can we stop this?
-Burning Lip in Lexington
Dear Burning Lip,
Though I’m currently off the sauce, my caddie days were packed with Copenhagen Mint pouches that I can’t say always ended up in the bottom of a trash can. This doesn’t excuse littering lip pillows, but it does help me empathize a little.
I agree it’s a problem. I just don’t have a real answer. I think our best hope is for Big Nic to start stuffing their synthetic shit nicotine into natural, biodegradable pouches that break down into buzzed bird food.
Or maybe we just bring back Red Man.
P╞r╠℮P.S. The stamp at the top of the newsletter is a cult-following nine-holer in Tennessee, by Dave Baysden. Think bourbon and punchbowls.
I know everyone is on the edge of their seat for what I’ve been hinting at for the past month or so. This week, I’ll tease you with this: I’m buying a company. That said, I’m still waiting for the suits to dot the last “i” and cross the last “t” before I roll out anything formal. Lawyers, man.
No, I have not neglected the mail club. In fact, I’m doing the exact opposite. The only problem is that running full steam ahead can lead us to neglect what’s right in front of us. I wrote about it in a letter to Fall that you’ll get shortly. I might even drop it via social/email in the coming days.
Instead of shipping that separately, I’m going to slap a few extra stamps on a larger envelope and throw it in with November.
Excited for what’s ahead. Thankful you’re here.
